I wasn't who i am today

I never cared about the little things I cared now

I never was the person that actually put so much sensitivity over things that I am now sensitive about

What is/are the reason(s) for me being who I am now?

What is/are the reason(s) for me acting this way?

Clearly,

I know why....

But

Why am I turning my back over it?

Keeping it quiet and dark as I hope it will be...

but

the fact; the truth is there...

no matter how dark and hidden i put it,

I'll always see it clear and bright....

that's life

we can never turn our backs on it...

no matter how hidden we want it to be,

one day, it'll hit back on us saying" hello, again"

over and over and over again....

Hence,

we can never feel the purely happy

AHH...screw it..

29th October 2009....

Having just 1 hour plus of sleep; getting up preparing myself for my Chemistry Practical exam is definitely a no-no to do..

Yes! night or should i say, morning before my Chemistry Practical exam was hooorrible! i couldn't sleep, but my body was alarmin me telling me " LET ME REST!!!" my mind, " no! im stil so fresh!" boo hoo! body and mind just couldn't work together that day=(

so, i ended up sleeping at 740 waking up at 10! damn~~ 1130 was my exam...

However!

I THANK cambridge for being so so understanding,hehe..the exam wasn't that torturing unlike the the first time i took it. yes! sadly, i resit my chmi ppr....lets just hope i wont screw up tis time...

after the ppr...

duno who who who...i couldn't remember was it liren or was it cha yee that suggest or was it me?? newaysss...one of us suggested to go kl for lunch~=)

yeap! we went thr...and i was a-ooo--kay with it altho i was yawning almost the whole day ..heh.

went to Tokyo g for lunch

oH! did i mention that i met sonia thr?? finally!! after so so so long and so so so many times of wanting to meet up thr...we finally did=)

sonia came over to meet us. heh.. cha and liren was shoooo shy~ i think.=P

we talked, but just for awhile as sonia gotta leave at 5 plus and we're heading to the cinema fer...

Jennifer's boday~ woohoo...

the movie wasn't that whoaaa-ish was wat the media said it wud be.. but overall not bad.

megan fox's shooo hawt! heh...

went back inti right after the movie as all 3 of

us was so dead tired. i was already dying with tears.....yawn too many times d=( haha!

I admit! i cannot live without going out! even when i am nt supposed to!=(

hehe...

Things wasn't running smooth recently..have been really upset over lotsa stuff...

Everything seem sooo wrong...as in really really wrong..! i couldn't even express or understand what shit feeling was i having. that kind of unknown feeling really sux that badly..

all i noe is that...i noe i'm nt happy about it, but inside of me i think i'm okay about it, but why am i nt happy about it? dang! then i noe...i'ts nt bcuz of that matter, it's bcuz of other matter that made me feel upset hence, when other nt so happy stuff happened, it made me worse.

*BANG* it just hit me soo hard...i couldn't control my emotions.=(

then,

a friend came by..

talked to me about everything. helped me to analyse the probs i'm having.

picking up the lil lil stuff that was bothering me so much... putting em' in different categories..

telling me,

they're nt important for me to care so much....whY??

cuz, they don't care about it too..why do i want to put myself into such condition whr the only person that cares' only me/....

i feel absolutely stupid after hearing that=( and honestly, i wasn't happy about wat i hear...

but...

thats the truth eh..

atleast i'll try nt to care bout em'..it's nt worth my energy after all...

as for the other stuff that's reli reli reli important to meeee......

sigh...

i'll just gotta bear it till end of nxt mth. sigh...

it's nt an easy thing to do...

However, i'm glad that i have someone to help me to think...thanks alot!

on the other hand...

nov & dec's coming!!..

pleaseeeeeeeeee.............................give me one hell of a gooood year end!!!

One month will go by just really quickly..

Hoping this one month will be a smooth track...

Hoping as this one month goes,

it'll take away the tears and pain along with it....

Sometimes,

We are just too engrossed over the things that we like

that we had neglected the little things that are actually important to us;

just that we are unaware of it.

blinded by the things we enjoy doing...

without fear

without worries

However, just because of these negligence,

when clock strikes,

we realised it is too late to say ' i should have notice the consequences'

then, we'll say...

'i regret'

truth is

there are no regrets...

what's the point to say

i regret?

the time had passed...

instead,

i think

we should be happy bout what had happened

regardless it being a good thing or a bad thing

why?

it is because of what had happened,

that made us who we are today....

However,

we gotta learn from it ofcuz..

do what we like, but

make sure what u're doing right now,

u wont neglect the ppl around u..

Happy

....Glad....

give em' rainbowsss.....

Just as we thought,

we're over of some stuff...

Just as we thought,

we've recovered from the pains..

Just as we thought,

we've gone through the tears

Just as we thought...

yeah, just as we thought..

we thought..

but we did not face them as we should be doing from the start

look at us now,

we're strangers..

we're not talking...

who are we?

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As we go through our respective lives,

flash backs come ..

reminding us of the great memories we had..

the sad memories we had..

having many things that had happened in our lives,

we are still unable to stand up..

to say " i'm really fine.."

we're still the kid 10 years back..

the kid that needs comfort...

the kid that needs someone to pull us up..

the kid that needs someone to say,

" no worries love, I'm here for you...let me help you. stop crying.."

we're afraid to be left alone...

altho we say,

we're ok to be.

one day

2 days...3 days

sure no prob..

but as the the day goes on..

we realised being alone sucks!

girls, i'm missing ya'll

Having so many things happened in our lives..

what have we learnt from em'

or just putting the same oul..attitudes we had before

ignoring the fact that,

we're wrong...

we needa change..

it's enuf of these oulfull sight..

we needa grow up..

it's hell out here.

yes indeed, lotsa things happened recently..neither one of em' are good or happy stuff...

rewind the time, or skip tis part ...it's nt smtg to be happy or proud of.

the heart thumps fast,

it couldn't stop...

cold hands and feet..

totally not a good thing to feel about...

2 minutes

what's with the 2 minutes?

well, i was taking a nap tis afternoon..was reli reli tired.

bodyaching...mind suffocating..

that kind of horrible nap=(

yea then i was awake by my phone's msg tone.replied then try to go back to sleep.

before i do that, i looked at the time.

1358

2 more mins arnd my alarm clock's gonna ring..

i asked myself...

just 2 more mins and i gotta wake up...

2 mins's such a shooortt...time to sleeep.

im sure everyone'll agree wit me on tis

it's either i sleep or get my ass up

to do smtg better than sleeping

if i choosed to wake up,

i'll be using that 2 mins to do smtg better.

saving 2mins of my time in other stuff.

rather than spending 2mins of my time...

TRYING to sleep...

which i failed to do so...

sigh...

stilll....

unfortunately.....

in the end,

i choosed to sleep

argh!

just when i was about to meet mr. sandman..

my alarm rang!

....Bring me outta here...

save the sinking heart..

and again, the feeling came back again...

no, it's not the good one, it's the awful one..

hiding behind her own shadow. fearful to step out to see what's the reality.

why?

she knows, the reality is nothing good. it'll just upset her and disappoints her, once again

however,

hiding behind doesn't seem to help.

she realised, even by hiding..

she already know how reality is like.

" I smile, but it doesn't mean i'm alryte

I laughed doesn't mean i'm happy

I said 'i'm ok', doesn't mean i really am

so why do i say things that aren't what i feel?

most people doesn't have the courage big enough to face the truth.

they choosed to hide from it.

they choosed to avoid em'

however,

no matter how long we choosed to hide from

how far we run away from..

the problem is still there..

right?

sigh....

humans...we're all reli reli dumb dumb=(

as a student, help me to run away from exam?? nah..no one can do that..=( unfortunately!haha...

quote from rach's bloggie...nice one =)

The stupid neither forgive nor forget;

the na�ve forgive and forget; t

he wise forgive but do not forget.

GOOD GRIVESSsss

A2 exam's freggin' neaar.....

are you that kind of friend, you think you are?

It's the last day of class.

everything's coming to an end.

the love life in here ends

the relationship with the lecturers are gonna end once we left

what about the relationship with friends?

will we depart on our own seperate ways and not see each other again?

will we depart on our own seperate ways and not keep in touch with each other anymore?

will we forget each other as time passed?

we are left with not much time,

how are we gonna spend this little time together,

growing our friendship stronger rather than letting it deteriorate?

what will become of our friendship in this 2 months time?

of all the fun and crazy stuff we did together,

it sinks in my memory with smileys footprints all over.

the time we laughed, we talked , we crapped...

they are of great memories to be kept.

sorry, if we let you feel left out

sorry, if we did not feel what you feel

sorry, we've not been a good friend to you

life is short, life is unfair, life is the drawing we draw..

how colourful, how pretty, how interesting, how wonderful,

how great, how cherish-able is it, it's up to us to decide...

so,

tell me

how much do you appreciate all your friendships with every friends of yours?

Are you worth to keep?

my true friend?

p/s: girlss....i miss you all laar.......