Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

And so today i woke up extremely early-7am. excuse me...waking up at 7 on sundays is considered as really early. so why do i wake up tis early? =) Yvonne invited me to her church. mmhmm church. all this while i thought, hey her church must be more or less the same as the ones i went before. but omg! when i reached thr..outside looked simply plan it's jz one factory lik building, but when i once step foot in that building...i was amazed seriously amazed by it. inside is lik a concert stadium.seriously it is like a mini stadium. whoa!!! sorry, no pic were taken.
i love it..i seriously like the feeling thr. the warmth everyone gave me. they welcome me=) ahaha..and guess wat, even the nigerians talked to me, welcomed me=) tat kind feeling feels great.i've not been well, um..mentally well for so freaking long..i dare not step out of the pain i dealed with. i tend to lie to myself on wat happened to run away from the pain. wat sux most is, the more i do tat, the deeper i got cut. ystd was horrible..i kept telling myself 'vivian! get out from tis nightmare get out!!! u're stronger than anyone think u are...' and today, i realised why am i torturing my soul for one person? why do i wanna torture my soul for some one tat doesn't understand how much pain he had caused me? why do i wana torture myself for him while he is happily out thr wit someone else? it's not worth my tears not a single drop but i teared for him for mths, yes mths! Do i wana go on like tis? no! no! NO! tho i the pain will nt go away jz like tat, but i noe..if im willingly to walk away i will see the better side other than tat dark side. if i'm willingly to make tat turn than to continue walking blindly, i'll see a rainbow, tho the journey to turn, the courage needed to seems to be too much for me, but if only if only im willingly to take up the pain i will succeed in turning awya tat horrible horrible path tat had been killing my soul. wish me luck,ppl...i haf to endure the pain, of jz turning away..nvr look back as it is reli reli reli nt worth it to stay back and cry over someone that will nt be thr for u.

oh so..the church was amazing. The pastor made me realised that life is not jz now..no...it is more than that so so so much more than what we are looking, wat we haf now.



love
viv