A Place for Two

At times tears of joy and sadness comes together, which made people feel extremely confused of what is the meaning of this. uh,..? don't ask me, me myself can't find the possible reasonable anwer. anywho...it just sucks to be at a place, when that place contained deep meaning to you, and yea, mayb..............to someone else. but what bothers you most is that you found out that, it is shared with someone else besides you and another person let's say A. and the other person is B. get it? oh so, yea, it saddens you actually. why oh why, a place belongs to you and me, okay, was belonged, and now to another person, B? it is not possible for anyone human beings that have feelings for not knowing how does it feels, right?
no, im not angry nor am i sad, im curious to know why on earth there're ppl that feels nothing of things they had done or said. not only to me, but to other ppl that are facing the similar situation as me. it is already the past, no point in bringing things up again, this i noe. this thing just popped up in my head. no one can ever say: " oh i forgotten what had happened, yeah! " uh..it is just not possible ryte?

" you're like a statue carved into my heart" " you're like the gem in my life"

falling in love is that easy?? falling out of love is even easier? what do you think?
tell me! seriously, i don't think it is easy for both of this to happen. " I love you" oh so easy to be said, or written. I literally thinks that it takes much effort and time to haf smtg as intimate as this to build up, to be strong. so why do ppl make it seems to be smtg easy? It is NOT.

i had been really blind, extream kind of way. unblind me ppl.!

the missing puzzle. if u can't find it, seems like it'll be gone forever. so long for the work that u've done to find for the missing piece. or...even the missing pieces.

it is no more the picture perfect one that u once had before. You put every pieces together, wat sux is that ur picture perfect had been crashed and ruined. Thus, you go all ways to find back all the missing pieces. NO NO NO...those that u'd found are not the ones that u want. REJECT!

finally, you found out, the similar picture had been build up by another person. you cn never find back the missing pieces. you were adviced to give up in finding them bcuz everyone knws it is impossible that u'll ever have the chance to find them back. you give up.

you hear your inner voice telling you, " my dear, give up don't find it anymore. u noe it is impossible to find them back.just move on and build up another picture, get another nicer puzzle." you tried so hard, by forcing urself to not find them. along the journey, you had urself cut, hurt..and wounded. you seek help along the way, you were given lots of helping hands..to heal ur wound, unfortunately they leave scars. deep deep scars. you don't mind. so what? they're just scars.

until one day, u realised, the puzzle you wanted which was made by the other person made it happier, and mayb, even more beautiful than the one u once had. and so u think, is it better by letting it be happy and more beautiful? the truth is, YES!

finally, u come to ur senses, you give up.praying that this puzzle will last. and give a much happier life for everyone compared to the one u had/lost.

Do not ruin the puzzle that u happily make.

let it be as beautiful as it is now for the coming days...

Procrastinating

the title says it all

if only only only.......

i can do that without feeling guilty

Lavenders

Lavenders

I lOVEY

hope to see them one day=)

they're just so.........................

BEAUTIFUL!

Forgive and will not Forget

Things haf been really messy, gone haywire. sad huh.. having ur life all messed up cause of someone, and the worst part of this is that that person doesn't give a damn to what happens to u. oh no..thats not the worst part, the Worst part is you being oh-so-stubborn to be siding that person when the entire world is telling you to forget...telling you that that person is not worth for you to think of...etc. etc. etc...oh please! i am no robot..i can't forget it's not tat easy. hit the "delete' button and shooo to everything? i wished i cud do that, but sadly..no.
I'm giving my best to let go.what sux the most is when you recall on everything. urgh..everything starts tumbling down on u..and that'll reli haunt u for days,yea.. i tell ya...days!!!
sigh.....
so what if i feel this way..? so what? the only thing that will happen is me making my friends and family worried and myself sad. uh....what for ryte?

i was told that the one thing that human can't lost is relationships regardless of what kind of relationship- family, friends, gf/bf..any kind of relationship. Once broken, it feels like hell, everything seems so dark... don't you think so? it is true noe... you can lost you car, ur keys, ur, ur shoes,anything you owned.....but....
hey u can still get them back ryte? but not for relationships... let's say..ur relationship wit ur family breaks off..how do you feel about that?umm... what about friends?don't tell me you'll not feel anything when u had an awful arguement wit ur bestie? how do u feel?? and gosh...what about gf/bf? don't lemme start off with that..
so yea, relationship is like the worse thing to lose. it'll take u FOREVER to mend that bond..it 'll take u FOREVER to heal the pain..sigh..
why do we want to make ourselves miserable for destroying things that meant something to us?

yes, no one is perfect! duh~ and yea, we do make mistakes. stupid stupid mistakes..and some of them are mistakes that u can't turn back. what i wanna say is we just gotta take these mistakes, these bad experience as a medicine for us to grow. umm...i don't noe whether 'medicine' is a rite word to use..err.....u get wat i wana say ryte? hope so!

mmhmm...it is through these bumps, these pains, these horrible needles that helped us to grow up, OPEN our eyes!
I'm dare say im one of them that reli need to grow out from this pain tho it is not easy and it is killing me but i just haf to!hmm...i wonder how some ppl can do that so easily..

the best part of this is that, along ur healing process, u'll realised the beauty ppl around you that cared so much for u.=) they're always thr..i love them!
they're like my guardian angels hahaa...look! i don't need an orange guardian angel..
pain..tears...sadnesss...they're just negative effects yea.
you know what, i don't wana care nor think so much of that pain...i want you to be happy, sounds pathetic, but this is all that i can asked for from u.

i Dare to say i'm WILLING to forgive u..but it'll take forever to forget. but i will try ok.

hahaha! no worrieesss....im not gonna kill meself..i haf much better things to do ryte? =)
alrytte then, til the next post, bye ~

love
viv

And so today i woke up extremely early-7am. excuse me...waking up at 7 on sundays is considered as really early. so why do i wake up tis early? =) Yvonne invited me to her church. mmhmm church. all this while i thought, hey her church must be more or less the same as the ones i went before. but omg! when i reached thr..outside looked simply plan it's jz one factory lik building, but when i once step foot in that building...i was amazed seriously amazed by it. inside is lik a concert stadium.seriously it is like a mini stadium. whoa!!! sorry, no pic were taken.
i love it..i seriously like the feeling thr. the warmth everyone gave me. they welcome me=) ahaha..and guess wat, even the nigerians talked to me, welcomed me=) tat kind feeling feels great.i've not been well, um..mentally well for so freaking long..i dare not step out of the pain i dealed with. i tend to lie to myself on wat happened to run away from the pain. wat sux most is, the more i do tat, the deeper i got cut. ystd was horrible..i kept telling myself 'vivian! get out from tis nightmare get out!!! u're stronger than anyone think u are...' and today, i realised why am i torturing my soul for one person? why do i wanna torture my soul for some one tat doesn't understand how much pain he had caused me? why do i wana torture myself for him while he is happily out thr wit someone else? it's not worth my tears not a single drop but i teared for him for mths, yes mths! Do i wana go on like tis? no! no! NO! tho i the pain will nt go away jz like tat, but i noe..if im willingly to walk away i will see the better side other than tat dark side. if i'm willingly to make tat turn than to continue walking blindly, i'll see a rainbow, tho the journey to turn, the courage needed to seems to be too much for me, but if only if only im willingly to take up the pain i will succeed in turning awya tat horrible horrible path tat had been killing my soul. wish me luck,ppl...i haf to endure the pain, of jz turning away..nvr look back as it is reli reli reli nt worth it to stay back and cry over someone that will nt be thr for u.

oh so..the church was amazing. The pastor made me realised that life is not jz now..no...it is more than that so so so much more than what we are looking, wat we haf now.



love
viv

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.


13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.



REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON..I will try to learn from tis. whatever it takes to make myself come out from the dark.

True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?
I may not know how true are my friends, but i noe that i haf wonderful great friends. friends that jumps up with much advices and care whenever i need them.=)

My friends tried to protect me from not telling things they know about you. In the end, i was still hurt by you by finding out myself. Yes it was killing inside of me. Many questions popped in my mind asking so so so many whys... but why? why do i wana ask when i noe, i'll nver be answered.
it is indeed out of my expectation tat the one person tat i actually have much much feelings for did this. no..in fact, it's not tat serious yea, u think. but then...u gave me hope. useless hope. i've been reli silly reli reli silly... silly til tat extend, i noe it can nver be wat i wanted, but i still put on tat hope. the thing, person tat i cherish so much break me so badly. how can i be okay with it?
in the end...it is still still nothing. empty.
and i'll leave it k..i can't take in anymore. hopes...love? nah-ah..i'm nt that strong.
ive been unbelivably scary to u, i noe. i frighten u..til u dare not even wannt to talk to me. im sorry. i don't want any of this to happen to. i just cudn't take it. if only u understand.
i can't understand u..from now onwards. all this while u're always the one good guy. that guy that joke to make me laugh, the guy that tries to cheer me up and when he failed to do so, he gets upset, the guy tat treats me like a princess, the guy tat i nvr nvr nvr nvr will think of him of leaving me, and the guy tat im worried of that i'll hurt him..but then..now..
where's he? he'll nvr be that guy anymore, i like tat guy...but u dun seem to be him anymore. i trully belief tat u did not change at all..from the very begining. i was reli mad mad mad at myself for putting so much emotions whenever i talk to u. if not things will nt be like tis yea.

whatever i say now has lost its meaning. it is just nothing.
let's jz hope i cn put all these down. and u...you'll haf a better future from now onwards.

Love?

Do u know wat love is?

Love is always patient and kind,

it is never jealous,

Love is never boastful and conceided,

it is never rude nor selfish,

it does not take offence

it is not resentful

love doesnt mean u must own that one person or must it be boy girl relation.Many ppl take love as boy girl relation kind of love. why...haf everyone of u forgotten family love? friendship love?
yeah yeah...not many ppl knows hw to express tis kind of love. but haf u tried doin it? no, i guess. true love...hmm..parents love are pure, tats wat i trully belief. who won't ryte? haha.
anyways...boy-girl relation kinda love? it does exist, it does. just tat...sometimes, we just don't haf the fate? fate to own/be together with tat one person u love. sigh..yea sucky huh? but wat cn we do about tat? beg for love? no! tat kinda love u receive won't be true, impure. so i thought,
hey, to love is great but expect less or shud i say, DON'T EXPECT. sigh...
it hurts i noe, and yea, kinda dumb, but.......well, bear wit it i guess...sigh~

My point is.....

!Uncondition love!

yea tats my point.

check out tis video. tells more about it...family lurve~

enjoy!

http://www.youtubVJMbk9dtpdYe.com/watch?v=